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Hello, this is Nadja. Please leave a message and I will return to it later.

[Here, Nadja nods to it all and this time sweeps Misty into a tight hug, kissing at her neck in a platonic, motherly sort of way]

Do not kill Jon and Tim, even if they are being truly fuck-off annoying. You will regret it when fucking Pagan gets upset with you. And he is truly an arrogant asshole when he is pissed off.

But not everyone hates you! I do not. Pagan does not. Who the fuck cares? Do you hate them back like the maggots they are?

[Misty gives Nadja's shoulder a pat, like she's the one doing the comforting here.]

That... depends on the person? Why did I-- Nadja, did you make me say all of that?

[Her tone is a weird mix of indignant and flattered.]

I only used a little vampire hypnosis on you, baby.

[She starts to bring Misty inside her cabin properly, walking them both inside]

Come, sit by the fire and tell me what Jon and Tim did that made you wish to kill them.

Where do I even start?

[She sits down, pulling her legs up onto the couch so that she can sit cross-legged.]

Calling me an unlovable creep, refusing to cooperate with an investigation I was leading, banning me from the library, using mental powers to make me think that no one cares about me and I'll be alone forever, being incredibly condescending... not necessarily in that order.

[Nadja sits opposite, nodding a little and trying to suss out fact from Misty!fact]

Well, he was very wrong and stupid to call you names and I will punish him later, but what the fuck were you doing to make him wish to ban you from the library? Laszlo and I have sex there every other week or so and he has yet to ban us.

What? I got kicked out of the lounge for almost having sex in there. Not banned, but-- wait, and why do you get to punish him? If anyone's going to punish him it should be me. I do my own dirty work.

I have seven hundred years' experience of making men suffer in creative ways. And his attack on you is an attack on all of us girls.

Now answer the fucking question, please.

I was persistent in interviewing Tim. And I have a better idea! You're a warden; you can probably get your hands on midazolam? Or some other powerful sedative? If I can get that, I can take it from there.

[... But that doesn't solve the Pagan Issue. Dammit.]

Or... you could give me some of your creative suggestions that don't involve death.

Fuck off with that right now. I am not going to help you murder a warden. Do you want to demote me?

No.

But I don't want anyone fighting my battles, either.

This is what wardens are meant to do for their inmates, baby doll. I will grab him by the balls and that will be that.

Nadja... do you have any idea what it's like not to be taken seriously? To not be, well, badass the way you are?

[She's guessing that the answer is very much "no".]

Of fucking course I do!

I mean, from personal experience? Because you're cool.

You think I was born this way? You think I have not had to struggle and fight and be acknowledged in this cruel, terrible world?

Why do you think I had to become the intimidating, glorious, bloodthirsty creature you see before you?

... Honestly? Yes, I figured you were born this way.

[She clears her throat.]

But if you weren't, that just means you should really understand why you can't go yell at Tim for me. How do you think that would make me look? It would make me look weak, like I came and cried to you - and not because you hypnotized me into it! - and got you to take care of my problems because I wasn't strong enough to do it myself. People already don't take me seriously. You'd make it worse!

Are you not weak compared to me?

I suppose . Physically. But I don't want to be weak compared to Tim.

Then let me ask you this, Miss Misty. Do you also get upset when you are a child and a little boy pulls your hair and your mother goes out to go throw the boy into the village well?

No you fucking do not. You stay back from your mother and you point and laugh at the boy and piss on his head from above until he is able to climb out again after you've gone inside to eat dinner for the night.

... Is that a true story?

But either way! I'm an adult, not a child.

Edited Date: 2022-07-29 11:57 pm (UTC)

Of course it is! What do you think happened to the miller's son after he pulled my braids? My mother fucking chucked that little shit down the well!

Not compared to me!